Wish it So

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Did you say it?

Did you tell him you didn’t miss him?

I.. Yes, I did.  But I meant.. I meant I didn’t miss our baggage.  Our problems.

I’m not going to go back all the way to the beginning.  To when we first re-entered each others lives.  To where we decided we were something. To when we struggled to be that something.  Because, we struggled every step of the way.

I’ll say this – we had moments where one tried and the other didn’t.  Moments where neither of us were trying.  We went to therapy and couldn’t agree whether or not we should stick that out or quit.  So we quit.  Because the will of one was always stronger than the will of the other.

I’ll also say that I loved him but it was hard.  It was hard for the both of us – the loving.

I wasn’t perfect but I understand that I was not alone in the destruction of an establishment that so many hold sacred.  I wasn’t alone in it but I felt so alone.

The first two lines you read today are pivotal to our whole ending – the breakdown.  I can’t and I won’t go back now but I will leave you until later –




1 year – just around the corner!

Carrigan’s first birthday is right around the corner

She was born on 10/16/10!

I plan on making her a healthy smash CUPCAKE (I find it extremely wasteful to give her a small cake she’s just going to smash)

The rest of the guests will have the same but with different frosting color.

Raspberry Swirl

I plan on keeping it simple; pink, green and yellow just like her room!

The sweetest occasion birthday

I plan on keeping it small – just family!

Family Party!



Speaking of first birthdays.. How’d you handle your child’s first?  Did you do it big or did you keep it simple, like me?

Also, why does everyone and their mother think they can chime in on how we should celebrate our child’s birthday?

Anybody else have that problem?  I bet I’m not the first…


If walls could talk

They’d say – I want to be pretty too!

That’s one of my million little projects now 🙂

Carrigan’s Room – proposed wall update

Notice how fancy I am with the lined yellow paper 

1) We just bought a 19.99 wood chest at our local thrift store (practically a blank canvas for a little girl’s room!)  Just needs a little cushion and some paint!

2) We already have the shelf w/hooks.  It was made by someone we know as a gift for Carrigan!

3) We have the frames and letter G for Gleason but I’m thinking I should find a C for Carrigan instead…

4) We have blank canvas that I picked up at Michaels!  Now I just need to paint something on it..

Entryway Wall – proposed wall update

Notice my continued fanciness 

1) We have a ledge my sister gave us when she moved this summer from one apartment to another

2) We have a small round hammered metal frame that I’m dying to use on this area

3) I have the blank canvas – I’m going to try to paint a pair of muddy boots

4) We already have the small chalkboard – I plan on writing something silly on it relating to taking off shoes and being charged for not following rules

5) Enter small mason jar which I also own.  My sister made apple pie jam and gave it to me once upon a time.. so cute.  Perfect for change from those offenders 🙂

Note the weird shaped bench.  Our bench doesn’t look like that but I’m really bad at drawing!  Which is going to make for some funny wall art.

I just finished a stripped cushion cover for the bench.  It’s not perfect but I love it.  I hope to make a DI-What?! write-up on it.  I actually took pictures this time!

 The pillows were borrowed from the couch. I hope to get the bench its own pillows!  It’s a striped fabric.. remnants from the runner I made.

The walls aren’t THAT pink in “real” life/in person.  This was taken at 11pm-ish with the hallway light.

What are you guys dressing your walls up with these days?  Or are they still naked noodles like most of our walls?

Any tips for hanging things on plaster walls?  

Happy Tuesday!

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Doesn’t matter how many pass

You hear a word

Smell a scent

Feel a familiar touch

And it becomes

Just yesterday

That they were here


In love

Loving you

Loving each other


She used it almost everyday

It was like being sucker punched


Just a word

Just a medication

To you


I wish those shoes were walking.. then they’d walk themselves off my floor!

I have a “no shoes in the house” policy.

I even have a semi-sketchy piece of paper on the screen door

It says “Please remove shoes”




Why is it that everyone thinks they are exempt from this?

Oh, Adam…

Including my husband!




Do I need to sign it?

Write it in braille?

Should I illustrate it in photo format?

Does it need to be in multiple languages?

Por favor, quítese los zapatos
Verwijder schoenen
S’il vous plaît enlever ses chaussures
Παρακαλώ αφαιρέστε τα παπούτσια
Si prega di togliere le scarpe
Proszę usunąć buty
Пожалуйста, удалите обувь
Tafadhali ondoa viatu

    If you still want to keep your shoes on, fine!

    I’ll show you to the broom and mop

    Don’t forget to clean-up on your way out


    Any tips or tricks on how to get my guests or even current residents to remove their shoes?  Let me know – I’d love it!

    My sister-in-law mentioned in a recent email that when you have guests in Japan you provide them slippers (incl. separate ones for the commode).  Should I get slippers?!


    “I’ve decided not to die.”

    “I’ve decided not to die.”

    It gets me

    It gets me because of the gumption behind that statement

    Because although the reality is that woman will die

    The other reality is that woman will die trying

    Can you say the same for your life?

    Are you going to give it the fight it deserves?

    Because I can tell you one thing


    Self Pity

    Self loathing

    Will not make your life worthwhile

    It will not give you purpose

    nor direction

    You’ll die

    We all die

    But you won’t have the knowledge of a person who fought

    Who gave their life a chance

    Now go on and watch The Help and always remember “You is kind, You is smart, You is important”.


    Not in a nut shell..That’d be tidy!

    My sister moved in over the weekend!

    She’ll be here for 8 months

    The countdown begins

    For her to move out 🙂

    She knows it too!

    We had to move the computer out of her room

    We put the computer in the playroom

    The playroom is now in the sunroom

    The one that connects between Carrigan’s room and ours

    It’s really cute

    But it was sweaty work


    Thanks Adam for doing the majority of the work (shout out to Jeff for carrying some heavy items too!)

    You did a lot of work this weekend!


    Oh and I got a new little 2-tier side table thanks to the craigslist find

    It needs to be sanded down – the legs anyway

    They are lime green



    Did you get that?

    Lime green doesn’t go with our decor

    Although our decor has changed ever so slightly over a couple of days

    More function

    Less pretty

    Thanks Carrigan


    Babyproofing for us meant bringing things with doors back into the scene

    That scene is currently my living room

    Also, I went to the docs on Friday

    My boobs apparently felt like a normal 26 year old’s boobs

    Seriously, that’s how my doctor put it

    Then she told me that it’s really easy to spot lumps in thin people

    And she didn’t feel one

    (anymore – I had a complex cyst that went away after 6 months)

    She called me thin


    I wonder if she actually looked at my weight in her charts?

    Oh well, I’ll take it!

    She apologized for their error

    She never meant for me to have a mammogram

    Her notes were read wrong


    My first mammogram will be at 30

    She said they would start 10 years before my mom’s first diagnosis

    It made me feel better

    and worse

    Mostly because I wish there wasn’t a need to take the extra precaution

    But I get it

    I really do

    I forgot about Saturday

    How do you like this order of things?

    It’s messy

    We went hiking with friends and their son who is 1 week younger than CG

    It was fun

    It was sweaty – I took an extra shower!

    Carrigan got her first lip-on-lip kiss on Sunday

    From a friend’s son – Alex

    She keeps wanting to call

    But we’re trying to get her to play it cool

    Alex should call first

    Within 3 days



    Have a good mon-DAY!