Wish it So


Thankful for the thanks

I really enjoy reading everyone’s “I’m thankful posts” in November because it reminds me that I have a lot to be thankful for too.  It reminds me to try harder and not get in my own way this month.  

You see, this is a really hard month for me as both of my parents passed away in November (although years apart).  They are constantly on my mind but more so lately.  This morning it was the music that was popular in November of 2001.  Which was the year my father died.  

Two specific songs come to my mind, Shakira “Whenever Wherever” and System of A Down “Chop Suey”.  It was so strange to be looking forward to Shakira’s crossover album when it felt like I shouldn’t be looking forward to anything.

I remember jumping on my bed listening to music.  Thinking that maybe if I just jumped high enough and sang loud enough that I would jump down and my life would be my life again.  It wouldn’t be about visiting my dad in the hospital and watching him wither away every day.  It wouldn’t be about hiding in the bathroom near the oncology office just to cry.  

Without fail, every time I jumped down it was still about that “new” life.  That life that was preparing me to be father-less in the here and now.  

So yes, please keep on being thankful because it gives this lady over here a little hope that one day even if years from now, November will be a month that she can be thankful for.