Wish it So


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I recently read a blog post that got under my skin a little.  I could relate to some of the items the blogger mentioned and I could even see where she was going with the points I didn’t agree with.  What made it get to me was the way in which she communicated that to the world.  Her examples were a bit off-putting.  

I’m sure a lot of you know which post I’m talking about and some of you even agree with the statements in it.  And that is perfectly OKAY.  

I agree that we can’t do everything for our children.  They have to be able to solve their own problems. However, I’ll add “to a degree”.  I’m sorry, but if my child has tried on their own and all it takes is my guiding hands or heart to get it – then I will help them.  There are many things that they will ABSOLUTELY need to do for themselves and instances where they will ABSOLUTELY need to advocate for themselves.  

That won’t be ALL of their instances though.  

I didn’t become a parent to essentially “birth” them into this world and say “Well, kid you’re on your own – you see, nobody will give two figs about you in life so you might as well learn that now!”  I became a parent to teach them about the world and their place in it. They came into this world to become one of many loved people.  Some day THEY WILL be the center of someone elses world – their partner, their kids, their pets, their closest friend and of ours.

I will agree with her points on letting kids be kids (or in her case, boys be boys).  Sometimes that means pretend guns and chasing the bad guy.  In the process, teach them when it stops being okay or rather, what makes it NOT okay in other circumstances.  Don’t cut them off at the knees when they are just hitting those natural “pretend play” milestones.  

As far as the bullying, the items she described as “teenage girl” stuff – NOT OKAY.  To say that it’s a normal part of school is nuts.  If my daughter was being treated that way or was the one treating someone that way then I would take the necessary measures and I would hope that a lot of parents out there would do the same.  

I was a quiet girl (still am for the most part) and I was that way all through High School.  I wore the wrong glasses and was usually a few seasons behind the clothing trends (still am!).  My parents couldn’t afford otherwise.  I wasn’t made fun of (to my knowledge) but I wasn’t a cool kid either.  To me, teenage girl stuff is leaving someone alone because they don’t necessarily fit in with you.  Not bullying them because they don’t.  Maybe this bloggers experience was different than mine.  Maybe that colors her opinion and I get that.

I don’t have a really cool ending to this rant but I do have this:  My girls ARE the center of my world. Somehow, I’m still Iomay.  I’m still able to see where mommy meets wife meets self.

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How they change you

I’m the opposite of who I thought I would be.  

When I found out I was pregnant, I was downright terrified that I would be too emotionally stunted to be a good parent.  

To be a loving  parent.

I worried incessantly about all the hugs I wouldn’t want to give or the kisses that I’d turn down – I voiced those opinions to Adam and to my therapist.  

They both told me I was thinking too much about it and that the fact that I thought it was a cause for concern was only proof to them, that I wouldn’t be the person I feared.

I guess they were right because I’m total mush when it comes to these two girls.  

I’m so lucky to have them in my life and I hope that they will always remember how much I love them.  

There’s no real lesson here… except maybe that believing in yourself goes a long way and having others believe in you when you can’t is a powerful thing.