I recently read a blog post that got under my skin a little. I could relate to some of the items the blogger mentioned and I could even see where she was going with the points I didn’t agree with. What made it get to me was the way in which she communicated that to the world. Her examples were a bit off-putting.
I’m sure a lot of you know which post I’m talking about and some of you even agree with the statements in it. And that is perfectly OKAY.
I agree that we can’t do everything for our children. They have to be able to solve their own problems. However, I’ll add “to a degree”. I’m sorry, but if my child has tried on their own and all it takes is my guiding hands or heart to get it – then I will help them. There are many things that they will ABSOLUTELY need to do for themselves and instances where they will ABSOLUTELY need to advocate for themselves.
That won’t be ALL of their instances though.
I didn’t become a parent to essentially “birth” them into this world and say “Well, kid you’re on your own – you see, nobody will give two figs about you in life so you might as well learn that now!” I became a parent to teach them about the world and their place in it. They came into this world to become one of many loved people. Some day THEY WILL be the center of someone elses world – their partner, their kids, their pets, their closest friend and of ours.
I will agree with her points on letting kids be kids (or in her case, boys be boys). Sometimes that means pretend guns and chasing the bad guy. In the process, teach them when it stops being okay or rather, what makes it NOT okay in other circumstances. Don’t cut them off at the knees when they are just hitting those natural “pretend play” milestones.
As far as the bullying, the items she described as “teenage girl” stuff – NOT OKAY. To say that it’s a normal part of school is nuts. If my daughter was being treated that way or was the one treating someone that way then I would take the necessary measures and I would hope that a lot of parents out there would do the same.
I was a quiet girl (still am for the most part) and I was that way all through High School. I wore the wrong glasses and was usually a few seasons behind the clothing trends (still am!). My parents couldn’t afford otherwise. I wasn’t made fun of (to my knowledge) but I wasn’t a cool kid either. To me, teenage girl stuff is leaving someone alone because they don’t necessarily fit in with you. Not bullying them because they don’t. Maybe this bloggers experience was different than mine. Maybe that colors her opinion and I get that.
I don’t have a really cool ending to this rant but I do have this: My girls ARE the center of my world. Somehow, I’m still Iomay. I’m still able to see where mommy meets wife meets self.