Wish it So

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Did you say it?

Did you tell him you didn’t miss him?

I.. Yes, I did.  But I meant.. I meant I didn’t miss our baggage.  Our problems.

I’m not going to go back all the way to the beginning.  To when we first re-entered each others lives.  To where we decided we were something. To when we struggled to be that something.  Because, we struggled every step of the way.

I’ll say this – we had moments where one tried and the other didn’t.  Moments where neither of us were trying.  We went to therapy and couldn’t agree whether or not we should stick that out or quit.  So we quit.  Because the will of one was always stronger than the will of the other.

I’ll also say that I loved him but it was hard.  It was hard for the both of us – the loving.

I wasn’t perfect but I understand that I was not alone in the destruction of an establishment that so many hold sacred.  I wasn’t alone in it but I felt so alone.

The first two lines you read today are pivotal to our whole ending – the breakdown.  I can’t and I won’t go back now but I will leave you until later –



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Boundaries – just for the average bear?

When I’m at home, alone with Carrigan, I pee with the door open.


Because otherwise she stands next to the door and it causes oopsies.

Still why?

Because I like to make sure I can hear her too

You never know when a number two will sneak up on you

Then you’re left counting down the seconds

 Wondering what kind of crazy your 16-month old is getting into

TMI?  You betcha.

Well, today’s bathroom visit consisted of Carrigan following me to the bathroom

Where this one-sided conversation occurred

Carrigan enters bathroom and smiles at the sound of pee hitting the toilet water

“Carrigan, mommy is peeing in the toilet”

Nods her head yes as if she understands the statement

(Hey, maybe she does?!)

“Carrigan, you also pee but you pee in your diaper”

Note to self: maybe that’s too full of a sentence for her?

“You pee in diaper”

“Mommy doesn’t get to wear a diaper to pee in – she’s too big!”

“Someday you won’t pee in a diaper either – you’ll pee in a toilet almost like this one!”

Conversation over

I’m now left to wash my hands quick enough to stop her from taking all of the detergents and throwing them on the ground

(downstairs bathroom is also the laundry room)

*Don’t pretend you didn’t miss my über weird rants – besides, maybe Carrigan will be like totally into potty training and then, who’s the weirdo?  Yeah, still me.  But weirdo with a potty-trained 16-month old two year old*

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Countertops, sinks and faucets or “The things I rather research in place of taking my final take home exam..”

True story.

I’m currently multi-tasking/procrastinating doing something that is due by Midnight tonight.



In other news, Adam and I decided last year that we wouldn’t purchase christmas gifts for each other since we really wanted to do some upgrades to our current kitchen.

Our sink is ridiculous.

It’s a double sink and the sink, for whatever reason, tilts toward the drains.

Everything you put it in slides and clanks resulting in some cracked glasses.

That’s right.

No bueno!

Our faucet is just outdated, kind of gross and leaks

Our COUNTERTOP.. well, they get noticeably banged up even with the slightest tap

They stain easily (regardless of how quickly you clean up)

and we really dislike them.

It’s also warped around the sink area.

I started the “christmas kitchen” process by ordering a new sink and faucet.

We really wanted a Delta touch 20 and I found one for 300 (marked down from 600..) but….

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again..

I’m kind of cheap.

So, I found a nice Kohler that I had a 10 percent off coupon for.. and badibingbadaboom FAUCET ORDERED

Kohler Simplice in stainless steel

The sink is still a double buuuuuuuuuut

One side is much larger than the other so it will still be nice and roomy while still having an area to rinse off smaller glassware

Kraus undermount

I wanted a single but Adam did not.. so I compromised.

That was nice of me.. don’t you think?! 🙂

Now we’re in the great “countertop debate of 2011”.


I’m for the first one which is a granite called crema caramel or quartz in niebla which is a light grey color.

Adams for the quartz in black or quartz in dark grey.

Of course we couldn’t be more different in what we should get … But a decision will be made before 1/1 as we get 10% off if we order and pay by then.

We don’t really plan on getting then installed before march though so there will be loads of waiting!

As for our cabinets .. Our carpenter gave us some inexpensive solutions instead of replacement. So, yay!

That’s what has been on our minds for a little while.. someday I’ll get back to regular posting.


Not tomorrow though because it’s my biiiiirthday! 🙂  So I’ll be off celebrating that!

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

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Gloria E. Otero

Gloria E. Otero

1/22/60 to 11/21/09

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
Guide us through the starry night,
and wake us with the morning’s light.
I ask not for myself alone,
but for thy children—every one..

It’s been 2 years since my mother passed away.

My heart literally hurts when I think of the pain she endured during her last year with us

But if you knew my mom, you’d know that she spent that last year giving it her all

Embracing it like she was going to see many more

In her very last moment

With her very last breath

She departed

With a smile


Think of her not with sadness in your heart

But with a joy for ever having known such a woman.


I love you Mami


Jorge Caban Leon

Jorge Caban Leon

9/11/61 to 11/15/01

For the man who kicked me out of his room, while on his death-bed, for not smiling

I don’t cry every day like I told you I would

I cry enough to embarrass you


It’s been 10 years since my father passed away.

Sometimes I’m completely overwhelmed with joy for ever having him in my life.

Sometimes I’m completely grief-stricken and a wreck.

Today I’m a combination of the two

Just overcome with feelings.

I love you.

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Adieu Dahlia Aegean

So, I said goodbye to the fabric I had originally chosen as the victor the to two week fabric decision.  I chose a similar fabric, floral with like colors.  The print is smaller scale than the large floral of the Duralee Dahlia Aegean.

I think I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m cheap.

The 8.50/yard VS 25+/yard really swayed my decision.

Duralee Dahlia/Foliage Aegean

Liz Scott Sugar pop painted flowers in cream chartreuse








The colors are similar but obviously not the same!  Personally, I don’t think it will change anything as far as styling the room.  It still makes me feel warm and cottage-y!

I was also able to score a 1/2 yard of Tye Pennington’s chartreuse lace for an accent pillow and 1 yard of Joel Dewberry Opal in Jade for a cafe curtain in the kitchen!

Tye Pennington Chartreuse Lace

Joel Dewberry Opal in Jade








If I like the Joel Dewberry enough I’m going to order more and make accent panels for the living room curtains.  Nothing big just something to add a pop of color + fun!

I won’t lie .. I’m bummed about the Dahlia Aegean.  But, our wallet is happy.. very happy.

Made any penny pinching compromises lately?  Do tell!


Here’s to the two of us on our two-year!

And here’s to you too! 🙂

My husband and I celebrated our 2nd year of marriage yesterday!  Woot!

This means – neither of us has accomplished killing the other, yet.

This also means – those divorce papers haven’t gone  through yet, darn!


or am I?

No, really, I’m kidding.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who made that day possible two years ago and there were lots of people!

Carmen – For being a fantabulous bridesmaid, sister and bridal shower planner 🙂  – Even from Boston it felt like you were right there with me.

Gloria – Wonderful maid of honor, sister and bridal shower planner 🙂

My mother – For being there even though I knew how hard she was fighting!  We got married about 1 year before we intended to but it was worth it to have my mom there.

Special thanks to my mom’s doctors for allowing her to attend the wedding.  I actually had to ask permission because of the level of care that would be needed.

Ricky (Stepdad) – for walking me down the aisle and dancing the father/daughter dance with me!

My husband – For showing up!  Bet you are kicking yourself hun 🙂






Keleigh and Randi – For singing like the beautiful little songbirds that you are!!  My walk down the aisle would have not been so amazing without your voices to lead me down to my man!

They sang the Celine Dion version of Sinatra’s “All the way”


Rachel – for lots of late night, weekend and last minute prep she helped with or did on her own!  Best friend a girl could ask for 🙂

Brigitte – the creative genius who helped create many of the cool things seen at my wedding and things not seen!  Like the escort cards that someone forgot to put out 🙂  The table numbers… and the candles she put together feverishly the night before!

Oh and the woman who single-handedly got me back on timing during dress rehearsal just by simply telling me that I was walking like a cow.. or was it a heifer…Thanks again Brig!

Lillian – for being the best darn flower girl a bride could ever ask for!

Donna and Ron- For taking on the task of bringing things to the reception for prep – They picked up a looooot of things!  For hosting the rehearsal dinner at a great local restaurant!  For loads of other things..

Jess – who at last-minute fixed our “blue” grass + wedding dress touching blue ground dilemma

Ronnie – For being a wonderful best man and great brother-in-law!

Bethann and Michael – For the champagne with a picture from our engagement photo shoot on it which allowed for the beautiful toast at the wedding!  Also, a special thanks to Bethann for the beautiful email she wrote to myself and Adam on the eve of our wedding 🙂

To my friends who danced and sang the night away

Special thanks to Jillian Whitney Jillian for singing a lil’ Whitney 🙂

(It was a requirement that if people wanted us to kiss they had to sing at the mic instead of clinking the glass!)

Centerpiece vases purchased by moi and concept by moi!  I still use these vases around the house – happy memories 🙂

No thanks section:

Florist – Almost screwed it all up because she initially only ordered enough flowers for TWO TABLES not the ten + we had discussed… Luckily about 3 days before the wedding we caught the problem.

Initial Photographer – For moving to SEATTLE without notice!

Ceremony Venue – For reseeding your lawn the weekend of my wedding!  They did refund us 1/2 of the fee thanks for my complaining

Here’s looking forward to our 3rd year together… 9/19/12 here we come!

.. “Who knows where the road will lead us only a fool would say”