Wish it So

Where it stops nobody knows

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I am finding it very difficult to wake up every day with the realization that my life has taken a complicated turn. Avoidable, complicated and not in my control – to an extent.

I can choose to wake up and decide, this is where I draw the line. I am human, I have feelings and I’m hurt deeply. I can choose me, I’m an adult with free will.

Instead, I choose the complicated road.  Daily. I choose the road that means I’m sacrificing a little of my dignity, my soul and my capacity to trust EVERY day.

I do this because I believe…I want to believe..in the capacity for this to improve.  Because the other road comes at a great cost too.  One that I’m not comfortable with in this very moment.

It is frustrating that because of my stubborn decision to continue on this road, that I feel limited and isolated in what I can complain about.

But this is my blog…so here goes.

– It’s not okay to be dishonest.  As a general rule but particularly those you love and that love you in return.

– It’s not okay to only think about yourself.  Every one should be a little selfish in ensuring self care. It’s not okay for that to be your entire existence.

– It’s not okay to NOT acknowledge how your actions make others feel.

– It’s unfair to not seek help for emotional struggles that are beyond the control/scope of others.  It’s not okay that people have to take the brunt of these things when you have the option to seek guidance in a professional atmosphere.

Simply…it continues to not be ok to be unappreciative of the people who love you and fight for you daily.  You need to fight for YOURSELF but also cultivate the things and people who champion consistently through it all.

And I need to remind myself, that I am enough. That another person does not control the overall outcome of my happiness and self worth.

So tomorrow I will wake up, going down the same road all the while trying to make the road more enjoyable to go down.

Good luck to me!

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