To recap: It’s been a long time. Long enough for me to now have a 3 year old AND a 5 month old. I know, I’m wild like that.
There were a lot of changes early in 2012. I started working full-time, Carrigan started daycare and I was pregnant. My entire pregnancy this time around was awful. I didn’t feel beautiful or go through one of those beautiful-glowing-pregnancy stages. I was doing things like, vomiting on myself. Vomiting on the floor in public bathrooms. Vomiting in my own bed.
You get it. Lots of vomiting.
There was also the stretch of time that I was dehydrated and had a reaction to the nausea medication. The kind of reaction that caused pain from my neck to the top of my head. The pain would last anywhere from a few hours to 24 hours. Basically, I couldn’t take care of my baby girl even when I was home.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t royalty so I didn’t get the Kate Middleton treatment. But I did get the Donna treatment which is almost as nice but without the oodles of money, palace or titles. Donna came to my house as often as she could and took Carrigan until Adam came home from work. So basically, I was her mother by name because I basically didn’t do any parenting for 9 months. Which is how I lost my girl.
She didn’t say “I wuv you” anymore, she wouldn’t hug me and she certainly didn’t want to listen to me. The moments we were together, I felt extremely heartbroken. It didn’t make it easier to know that she was lashing out at me because she was heartbroken too. She didn’t really understand why I wasn’t around as much, why I was always sick , sleeping or crying. She just knew things had changed.
After having B, I decided that it was time to get my girl back. My other girl that is. I started doing weekly cooking lessons with Carrigan but then B got needier so after about 6 weeks we stopped. Now I try to do a weekly craft with her while B naps or when Adam is home that way B is getting attention elsewhere. This past month she started dance classes that only I attend! I also took her on a mommy and me date to see a musical and plan on having one mommy and me date a month.
What’s amazing is that I can already see a difference in our relationship. She’s happier to see me, she says “I love you” back (a year later and the “wuv” is gone), she HUGS me and seems like she wants to be around me more.
I’m hoping that as we go into the new year, I’ll have her back fully! You know, until she hits those pre-teen years where she wants nothing to do with me because of how obviously embarrassing I am! 🙂
The story of “B” is a story for another day.