Wish it So

I didn’t even like me last night.


All day I’ve been feeling down.  Sad. Blue.  Whatever you want to call it.. I’m feeling that.  One hundred percent due to the fact that the Mr. and I had a big blow out argument last night in which I threw a tantrum like a little girl and threw my glasses.  You read that right.  I threw MY glasses.  I also said horrible things that I won’t take back because it’s already out there.  Once you say things like I said.. the universe gobbles it up forever and whispers it in your ears so as never to be forgotten.  To say I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted is an understatement.

There were things that needed to be said.  There were certainly things that needed to be heard.  But there is always a better way.  Unfortunately, I’m not always good.  I’m definitely not good at hearing that I just may not be perfect.  WHAT?  I’m not PERFECT?  You don’t SAY!  That’s terrible news.  What can be done about this travesty?

Well, if you’re my husband you try.  You feel bad that your wife is slumped in a corner of the room holding on to her glasses bawling because she took it upon herself to chuck them across the room.  A room that she got down on all fours and searched for said glasses in the dark.. until finally she emerged clutching her now misshapen lenses.  If you’re my husband you offer to fix those glasses even if you think your wife is crazy.  Sure, they sit awkwardly at the end of my nose now but it’s better than the alternative.  No glasses at all.  No vision.  No way to see that beautiful cherubic face of Carrigan’s or the error of my ways.

Oh how sad and embarrassed I feel.  For reacting the way I did.  overreacting.  Proving your point that I take things too much to heart and then freak out over it (my words).

Finally after I could see,  Literally and Figuratively in this case, I realized how immature I was being.  How CRAZY I was behaving.  You’re just trying to tell me things to strengthen our relationship.  To make it a good and worthwile marriage.  So that I don’t drive you as crazy as I’ve driven myself.

We talked.  We vowed to work on things.  Vowed to listen to each other.

I vow to never throw anything at you or at all ever again (unless we’re playing a game of catch)

I vow to not be so rigid when it comes to gaming.  Especially if we’re both NOT doing ANYTHING!

I vow to try not to take things personally when you say I might have flaws.. Everyone does.

Now I want to thank you for listening to me when I had things to say and not throwing anything.  I thank you for not walking out on me the time I threw my flip flops at you, the chinese food on your now ruined pants and shoes and this last time, the glasses across the room.  I’ve got a temper problem.  But I’ve got to say, I’ve thrown worse and I’ve thrown more at all those other guys… so, does that count for something? 😉

I love you and I thank you for telling me that I’m an amazing mom and a great wife despite my behavior which was akin to that of a three legged Cyclopes hankering for his fe-fi-fo-fum english-MON.


2 thoughts on “I didn’t even like me last night.

  1. Well the airborne eyewear was definitely over the top, but it does not help that my delivery of your “flaws” normally sucks. I will have to try harder to find a better avenue of approach. Preferably one that does not result in malformed mythical, one-eyed, creatures.

    Marriage is work. We knew that going in. I would say “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”, but that would be lying. Not having to work at it would be better. I can say, I’d never have you any other way. Just a few minor adjustments 😉

  2. Some people are probably thinking “Marriage is work?” 🙂 Any relationship with a Caban Otero is work.

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