Wish it So

When are they making that chill pill?

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Many of you already know that Friday night was “date night”.  It is so rare for us to REALLY go on a date.  Even when we weren’t married we weren’t much for going out.  So, we decided to paint the town red.. with a hint of pain.

We booked last minute appointments at East Heaven Hot Tubs and Paradise Spa (to be specific) for 1 hour couples massage.  It was INTERESTING.  Even if the experience hadn’t been SO EXTREMELY PAINFUL I would not have enjoyed it.  Why?  Oh OKAY since you asked.. I was being typical Iomay.  Super paranoid and sketched out.  Here is my thought process.  You’re Welcome.

Why did I have to get the masseuse with the creepy eye problem.

He’s looking at me like he could dispose of my body easily.

Ok, It’s cool he called me dear.  Why would he murder me if he was going to call me dear?

Why would he murder me while I was lying next to my husband anyway?

Get ahold of yourself IOMAY!!!

Ok, alright the bells went off.  He’s going to start massaging soon.

Ooooh, I’m so glad I picked lavender massage oil.

Feels good.

OH MY GOD AWFUL PAIN.  SO MUCH PAIN.

He really is trying to kill me

I should tell him it hurts

I don’t want to offend him..

Now Imagine this happened for approximately 30 minutes.  Then they flip you over and start massaging the front of your body.  Not in that happy ending way.  Just in the “We can’t reasonably charge XYZ and give them a half assed massage” way.  At this point he says to me that he is going to put a blind on me so that I can relax and the (very dim) lights don’t bother me.  I thought it was a ruse.  FOR SURE They had taken Adam out of the room and/or pressed a magic button and the FLOOR had eaten him.

He’s hovering next to me.

Did I just hear a phone ring?

Omg, I wonder if it’s about Carrigan.

She’s probably in the Emergency Room.

Maybe they lifted her too close to the living room fan.

I was afraid this would happen.

This thing better be over.  AND SOON.

Oh, He’s back…

Ok, this is when he chloroforms me.

Weird, I thought for sure ….

DING DING DING – MASSAGE OVER.  Really?  That didn’t feel like an hour.  Man what a jip.  I don’t feel relaxed at all.  

Welcome to my life people.  I’m super paranoid about everything.  Although I have received other full body massages in my life that didn’t make me so “sketched out”.  I was more relaxed but the brain mill was still a churnin’

Well, we tipped them well so maybe next time they won’t brutalize us.  You know, if there is a next time.  This was a bit much for a date (price wise) but it’d been so long since we’d really been out on our own and as a parent of a pretty active little girl we needed the massage.  We also went to The Sierra Grille for dinner.  Love at first, second, third … bite!  It was really our second time going there but I don’t see us not going again.

I mean, when you make statements such as “It feels like I’m having an orgy… in my mouth!”  you can’t just drop the place.  It would be against the restaurant code of yummy ethics.  Just thinking about it is making me hungry!

This is the kind of dinner that IF you had left overs for lunch, the next day, you’d be counting the minutes until lunchtime.  There are times when I have leftovers at a restaurant (sometimes even in my own home) that I weigh my options for eating it at 8am vs. 12pm.  I’ve been known to eat Judie’s at 8am… 🙂 and I’m even hungrier.

All in all it was a great date night.  We got home at approximately 10pm and went to sleep.  I should’ve used my sexy half shaved legs to seduce my husband but all I could think was “It’s 10pm and there is no chance of Carrigan waking us up..”  I think waking up mostly rested at approximately 9am the next day is a testament on how much that was the right decision.  At least for me.. I think my hubs was thinking “It’s 10pm and there is no chance of Carrigan interrupting..”

Oh and yeah, the phone was ringing.  But it was Adam’s friend!  🙂  Does that make me less crazy??? 😉

 

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